WTS Day XXXV

Kicking myself this morning for not going out last night, but trying to remind myself of how tired I really did feel. This was, I think, from lack of planning and also from the unseasonably warm weather. There was no-one at the MeetUp that I wanted to see in particular. I didn't cancel, just didn't show up, which strikes me as mean-spirited and I resolve not to do so again, even if it is just drinks. 

It is #26habits day again today. My last habit was to stay out of TKMaxx. How did I do? I went there twice, once this day last week, and the second time yesterday. I bought one item: a foot cream. Once a week might seem plenty and not like I have succeeded, but what is important is that quite a few times I went into town or to the shopping centre and didn't go in there. This is the test, it had become an automatic thing that if I were in town for any reason I would "check" TKMaxx, in a hunter-gatherer kind of way. That is hopefully a thing of the past, and I will endeavour to keep out of there as much as possible for the rest of the summer. (What am I saying? It's quite possible for me never to darken their doors again. Better to say I will keep my visits to withing reasonable limits and not buy things of which I have several already). 

Time now for Habit No 2. I have toyed with a few over the past fortnight. A serious contender was to stay away from Youtube, but I am postponing this to the next time because I don't want this to be some kind of Lenten omnibus of giving up this and giving up that. I have decided that every second habit, at the least, will be adding an activity rather than taking it away. The frontrunner than became to develop an evening routine...a kind of bookend to Elrod's SAVERS. This I have come up with in the form of FLOAT. I did think first of JOLT. Journal-Organise-List-Tidy, but that sounded too much like a morning routine. The letters of FLOAT stand for 

-Five-minute journal.

-List

-Organise

-and

-Tidy

I am good at filling out the morning section of the FMJ, which I do as the A component of SAVERS, but lots of the pages are either blank at the bottom or have the headings but nothing filled in under them. I just forget, but making this part of a definite routine helps. The list is the right-hand side of my Moleskine diary, which functions as a bullet-journal to-do list (yes, I did try full-on bullet journaling and while I can see it is very clever, it just didn't work for me). In the evening I check off what I've done with an X through the box, and add in items that have arisen during the day so I have some kind of window into the future and this also minimises having to get out of bed because I've forgotten something. Then I organise anything I need for the morning/pack if I'm going anywhere. This isn't usually necessary this time of year, but will be a crucial step in September. Then T is for setting a ten-minute timer on my phone and tidying up, mostly in the kitchen. 

Life-enhancing as this routine is, it hasn't made the cut for this fortnight's habit because as soon I as conceived it, it's been extremely easy to stick to. Maybe when the enthusiasm wears off and I need a re-boot it could become one of the 26 habits at that stage. When it came to picking the habit, I decided to think about my priorities. Going out more is one of them. Another is writing, and this is where I finally settled. Drumroll....

Habit No. 2 of the #26habits is to use Dorothea Brande's two strategies to get more writing one. The first strategy is to write first thing in the morning. The second is to commit to another specific time of day to write. I plan to follow this five days a week. Five is enough, and I will pick the time five o'clock, or as close to five o'clock as I can manage. We will see how this will go. 

WTS Day XXX

Win the Summer is 30 days old today and to celebrate, we are opening a Twitter account and attempting to get some views.
I realise now that I should have started a whole new blog for Win the Summer. I didn't think I'd really write every day. Well, I didn't. If you're reading this and you recognise me, can you please inform me? I have been writing this blog in the supposition of anonymity, as there is little point otherwise. I am careful, but only up to a point.
What is Win the Summer?
Win the Summer is a personal project. I am a teacher who is off work for the holidays and realises that she did not make the most of previous summers. I am determined that this summer will be different. The main difference is that I am going about things intentionally, rather than drifting. Another difference is that I am following, as best I can, Hal Elrod's "Miracle Morning" routine. Had I picked up this book in my local Waterstone's (it's there), I would have dismissed it as just another self-help book that promised the world but is hard to stick to and ephemeral in its benefits. However, I downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire having heard it recommended on Twitter by people I hold to be sensible. The book itself is quite skimmable and there's a good summary of it here by Philosophers Notes. (Brian Johnson does good summaries and his blackboard presentations are much easier to take in than the usual animated book summaries that proliferate on YouTube).
So far, I can recommend it, as it works very well for some-one who is temporarily without much structure and who doesn't have to be in a particular place in the mornings. Would I recommend sacrificing sleep and getting up at half-five to do it? Totally not. I plan, when I go back to work, to get up a little earlier and incorporate elements like five-minutes meditation in my morning, but that's about it. Not that I am planning too much for work at this point. The summer is still young.
That is, relatively young. There are around seven weeks left of my mini-sabbatical. A mini-sabbatical is how I see it. For ten years I did not take this break, but instead earned extra income by correcting exams. What a mistake that was, but I can't go back now and change things.
Along with the Miracle Morning (can I stop capitalising that?), I have a couple of other projects on the go. Right now, I am attempting Less Plastic July. I have also started a #26habits ....what? "Practice" sounds absurd, but maybe that's the closest. This is inspired by Emma Gunavardhana's excellent podcast on the-pool.  I am still on the first one...Staying out of TKMaxx, and am due to start another one next Monday.
The other main thing, in fact the main thing, is that I am taking time this summer To Do Some Serious Writing. I know I am building this up to be too big a thing. How is this going? On the one hand I am writing every day. On the other, this is on various desultory, embryonic scraps of wittering rather than anything substantial or even fictional. And I am not spending enough time on it. Still, I must not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I am doing a bit. There is progress. Still, progress doesn't get you there, just on to the next section of road that's indistinguishable from the other. To put this in perspective, I style myself as a fiction writer, but my current output averages out at one short story a year. In seven years' time ( I currently have three I consider presentable) I'll have enough for an anthology.
I feel there is more I could be doing. This feeling is in itself a sign of progress. How have I lost other summers? Through half-heartedness and not pushing through. Through not taking up opportunities, through going to events but not speaking to people and going home early, through failing to prioritise, through attempting to live some-one else's life and doing things merely because they were expected of me.
This year is different. Even so far, it is different.

WTS Day XXVII

I hope I'm still doing the Roman numerals correctly. Last night I made a list of my top nine self-help books. I had intended to go for ten but couldn't think of a tenth. I'd say I will, and then post I was surprised that's as far as I could go. I think it was partly because I allowed only one book per author. 

My copy of Dorothea Brande's "Becoming a Writer" came yesterday. Tomorrow I will start the writing as soon as I wake up. I did do one exercise and was very pleased with what came out of it. I think I will do it again. 

So far, her programme involves two parts:

1. Writing on waking. This conflicts with "The Miracle Morning". I see however, that there a "Miracle Morning for Writers" book, that I could consult. On the other hand, if I stick to writing in a bedside notebook, then there is no reason why I couldn't slot this in before Silence. 

2. Writing by appointment. As well as first thing in the morning, Brande recommends a definite time to write. I have been sticking to my twenty-minute a day minmum, but suspect this would also be a good idea. When though? The morning is the obvious time. We will say 9 am, from Monday, and start with 20 minutes, increasing every week by five minutes. This will allow for finishing the miracle morning. 

Shouldn't I prioritise writing over the miracle morning? I mean I could be doing real writing right now instead of this this typing. I don't know. I think of this as a kind of mental house-keeping. Perhaps the five-minute journal would suffice. I have started in a different notebook as my yellow still has not arrived from the hotel and I suspect it won't at this stage. 

This weekend is tough as there is nothing on. There was a lot I could have done last weekend but I was away at the Christening, or recovering on the Sunday. This is how things happen. You pick yourself up and you move on. I could have signed up to a Meetup or something. There is always something, and if there isn't you can arrange something or just go off into the country somewhere. 

I am going to go into town once this is written. I have a couple of things to pick up. Just a couple, mind you. Staying our of You Know Where. There is very little I need food-wise (onions, bread). There is a hair-care product I want to buy in Boots (Bumble and Bumble stuff that means you don't have to blow-dry your hair, will buy the travel size to experiment).

I am thinking about going back to ordering books. There is a book I want and it is much cheaper on the bookdepository. If I didn't know the book depository are owned by Amazon then I would have bought it there already. It is more expensive to order books in a bookshop, and compared to Amazon they take longer to come. They're more predictable than bookdepository though. 

My scruples were there already but have been strengthened by reading this review from Quillette. It'd be wrong altogether to order "The War on Normal People" online wouldn't it? It echoes what I've thought for a while: our obsession with e-commerce and automation is a form of economic cannibalism. I already rarely use the self-service checkouts in the supermarket and deplore their introduction to our libraries. I say "rarely" but I do use them. 

WTS Day XXIII

Will have to become more disciplined with this. It's twenty-five to eleven already and I have been up since half-seven. That is more than three hours to meditate, walk up to the shop, have breakfast, read ten minutes' worth of Joseph O'Neill's "Neverland", call the person I'm not supposed to be calling (call lasted ten minutes which is much shorter than normal) and turn on the computer. All that except the phone call could have been done in under an hour. I still have not exercised yet. That is supposed to slot in before reading time, but I have been excusing myself on the grounds of stiffness and saying I'll fit it in later but of course that doesn't happen. 

It is good to get up early these mornings as once the heat sets in it's impossible to get anything done. I have ordered Dorothea Brande's book from amazon, even though giving up amazon/bookdepository is supposed to be one of my goals. I am determined to do some actual writing today. Yesterday all I did was enter the Moth Prize, and send a story to The Stinging Fly. That's important too though. I end up entering the same competitions every year and missing the same competitions every year because the deadlines pass me by during the year. This is purely a case of failure to prioritise. 

My latest discovery is the Emma Guns Podcast. In particular her series on 26Habits. She has a lovely speaking voice and covers topics I am interested in. I have decided to start my own 26Habits series, to run concurrently with WTS (which is soon to run concurrently with Plastic-Free July). My first habit challenge is going to be staying out of all TKMaxx shops for two solid weeks. I am a TKMaxx whore and spend far too much time and money in there. Yes, it is often very good value and I have bought good things there like my winter coat that I wear all the time, but I have developed a checking habit. It is the vestiges of my evolutionary hunter-gatherer past. Here was a good shrub for berries. It's not 100% reliable but that only adds to the urge to check, unpredictable reward schedules being the key to reinforcing behaviour and all that. My most frequent purchases from there are beauty products, and I do not need Another Cleanser or Lovely Shower-gel. I say this partly because there was excellent value in the Heathrow Duty-Free and I held back thinking of all my stash I still have to get through and the bulk of the beauty fatberg is product purchased in TKMaxx. 

I have only one more big event to go in my Win the Summer schedule and that is a three-day writing course. The week before I have been invited to join my brother and his wife at her parents' holiday home. I am tempted but the last thing I want is to be spending hours on the beach or going on enforced marches (sorry, walks) on long, low-hedged country roads. If I could go and just hole up in my room. One way it would be good is that I could bring the laptop but there is, AFAIK, no wifi down there. Will see. 

WTS Day XXI

I have made it to Day 21, but my 5 Minute Journal hasn't. I think I left in the hotel in Dublin , where I stayed on Friday night. I have rung them but they haven't found it. There is a possibility that it'll turn up here, but I doubt it will. That is because there is only one place in the case where it would have been, and it's not there. I wrote in it yesterday morning, but must have missed it when it came to packing up. Maybe it is a good idea to bring my packing list with me for packing for home as well as packing for departure.
The reason I was looking for it was to make a list of the Lessons of the Day I have been learning since starting WTS. Because it has been so hard I feel like I need to at least have learnt some lessons from the experience.
I certainly didn't feel like I was winning the summer when sitting on the 102 bus in from Dublin Airport. The sun was beating in on me and I couldn't get comfortable as the bus lurched and stopped and my case was banging against my legs. I was so sick of that case, having spent the week minding it and watching it and bringing it everywhere with me. The flight had started badly with me spilling half a bottle of Diet Coke over Keith Duffy's immaculate runners. Then we were held on the plane for ages as they didn't have the sky-bridge ready. Then I didn't know where the 102 went from (though in fairness it didn't take me too long to find it). Then I was the only person who wanted to get off at the tennis club, but I didn't press the bell and the bus was on to the next stop before I got off. I was frazzled in the extreme, but the hotel was lovely and I slept almost as well as I would have at home.
I was also pre-menstrual the whole time. These things happen. But that is probably the biggest factor in how overwhelmed I felt. I was having a nervous breakdown on the bus, hyperventilating and moaning, with other passengers asking if I was okay. I just couldn't cope any more. And my ears had popped  during the quick landing.
I felt relief this morning that I have my travel over with for the summer. I know that when it beds down it will have done me good. I saw things I hadn't seen before. Even though I though Bordeaux would be my main holiday and was pissed off with myself for booking the London trip at all, it was the London trip I got more out of in the end. I think I appreciated it so much after the experience in France. I saw the Westfield shopping centre, and the V&A, and I went to the big Waterstones in Piccadilly(waste really) and went to the National Theatre and I  met two friends on consecutive nights. I love London and am hopping mad over Brexit. Like most thinking people. I felt like I could have spent more time there, and I'm looking forward to going back in September. I think I might change my flight to earlier in the day that Friday, to give myself more time. The one thing I really missed was having the laptop to write in and blog as well. I think I could invest in a portable laptop, definitely.
The Westfield shopping centre was the most interesting thing I saw and I could have gone back there to do some shopping on the second day. The sales were on and all the chain-stores are cheaper there anywhere even outside of the sales. It is Europe's largest shopping centre but there is no bookshop there. On the one hand, the choice is intoxicating, but on the other the empty consumerism is nauseating. I am conflicted between wanting to have nice things and live as elegant a lifestyle as I can, and feeling that none of those things matter and they are a false trap for my attention. Coming to a compromise here is something worth thinking about. I think scheduling and limiting the amount of time devoted to shopping is part of the solution.

Why Buying Books is Okay, Even When You Already Own a Copy

One week into the 90 day challenge and how's it looking? Today -  the first real test - was a partial success; I used two parking discs rather than paying for the multi-storey car-park; I escaped from TKMaxx with nothing more than an item of practical underwear, even though tempted by array of bargain-some beauty product. Why did I even go there in the first place? It's my habit: a habit compounded by the shop's addiction-forming variable-reward system.
I'd had lunch at home and met a friend for hot chocolate before caving and stocking up in M&S.  At that stage I was tired and knew full well that that was willpower-depletion. I could have chosen to push through, to go buy some real food from local businesses. But sometimes knowing why you're doing something doesn't make it easier to not do it. Or, it doesn't make it easier enough.
I also bought a book. Buying books is allowed, as I have rarely regretted buying a book. Even awful self-help books that seemed - on inspection in Waterstones - to hold the secret to transforming my life only to be lots and lots of wasted ink and dead tree. With books you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Not only will you meet some Book Princes, you will over time develop a sixth sense for a book's amphibian-factor. The book I bought today is a Prince. I knew it would be, being "Better than Before" the latest from Gretchen Rubin. Not only have I read Rubin's previous two books, I'd also read this book. I bought it last month. I am a Book-Buyer-Lender-Buyer. Lending books to other people is one of my life's greatest pleasures. It's akin to the hobby of match-making, although there is a downside. This is that a book on loan is not a book on the shelf. And a book on loan may sometimes become a book lost. So every now and again, I will deliberately buy a book rather than resent the very book-reader relationship that I myself set up.
I like Rubin's book. It's witty and thought provoking and I like that she eschews playing amateur cognitive psychologist (although there's plenty of reference to actual research) in favour of anecdote and personal musings.   I even like that she neatly insists that since I disagree totally with her unscientific division of humanity into four habit types (Upholders, Rebels, Obligers and Questioners), this very resistance indicates that I'm a "rebel".