WTS Day XXXVI

You would think I was used to the heat by now but it is officially baking today. I didn't do any exercise today or yesterday. This is partly tomorrow logic as I am booked in for a gym class tomorrow. I know that gym classes aren't enough though, and I need to be doing some at home as well. That is a thing to watch. 

My first day of Habit No 2. is going well, as in it's actually going. I got up this morning and wrote at the laptop. Nothing too startling or anything. It's also twenty to five now and I already have my five o'clock writing done. I'm not sure if bringing it forward is a good idea or not, but couldn't think of an advantage of waiting until five o'clock. I'm working on an essay. I doubt this essay will ever be published but the best writing advice (have heard this from Kevin Barry and elsewhere from Neil Gaiman) is to be a finisher. To finish things and not leave scraps lying around the place. The computer makes this kind of thing even more dangerous. I would like to be writing fiction rather than essays, but feel not writing on the basis that I can't think of something fictional would be a case of letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. I read as well this morning that Joseph O'Neill gets an idea for a novel only once every ten years. This makes my one-short-story-a-year output seem less pathetic. 

In other news I am going out tonight, just to language-exchange, but that is something. I have become something of a hermit. But that is outside circumstances, to an extent. Things will pick up again. Have been doing a lot of reading and finally finished "The War that Ended Peace". I love reading, really reading. What do we mean when we say "reading for pleasure"? Why do we assume reading for pleasure means reading easy books, or frothy books that don't challenge us to think about issues? For me that is half the pleasure of reading. I hate the phrase "reading for pleasure", and I'm not the only one, although I know I'm in a minority. For most English teacher, this is heresy and unspeakable on forums like TESEO. 

If I had to sum up in one word my current status, I'd say it is "bored". Not that there is anything wrong with that. There are so many days. I wish we were going back early, the way some schools do, so as to get days off during the term. How welcome those days would be! I didn't vote, but think anyway there was little point in voting. In the words of Joseph Stalin: "It's not those who cast the votes who have the power, it's those who count the votes." 

WTS DAY XXXIV

Am not really in the form for doing anything, but am writing this so as not to miss an X on the Seinfeld-inspired calender. I have been starved of social outings and right now I am supposed to be at a MeetUp, but I amn't, obviously. The bus into town passed me as I crossed the road to the shop to purchase a San Pellegrino before it closed at 8 o'clock and I did have a mad notion of hopping on it (I should have been on it really) but being in my Penney's jeans and old shirt, with my make-up untouched since one o'clock, I decided against it. I am a flake. 

I am an exhausted flake. It is so hot! It's gone beyond funny at the stage. Am having an Fe tablet along with the San Pellegrino, in case the problem is anaemia. I got up late and was going to spend the day at home but the boredom got to me and I went into town. Yes, I fell. No, I did not purchase anything style/beauty related. Instead I went to Vibes n Scribes and spent forty-two euro on books. I got four books for that, which is good. I have one almost finished already: Jamie Bartlett's "The People v Tech". It confirmed what I already know, and was almost enough for me to spontaneously delete my Facebook account. I have considered this in the past, not just because of their data-gathering and ad-targeting, but also because of the baby photos and the holiday photos and the whole nauseating #blessed #family smorgasbord of smug. It's long gone from my phone. It is impossible to cut the cord though. How would I know? How would I know that the man I was in a relationship with this time two years ago has gotten engaged? How would I know that my university-friend who is at least two years older than I am is pregnant with her first baby? How could I keep watch for evidence that the Man Who Went to the Far East has finally settled-down out there? [the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence]. On a practical level, I am in two professionally-linked private groups. Facebook is handy for that kind of thing. It would be possible, of course, to close my personal account and rejoin the professional groups using a new account. They would know it was me, but I could pick a name that would not be recognisable, and have no pictures. That would be a solution. That I'm not considering it means I am afraid. Facebook does seem  like a way to "keep in touch", but this is an illusion. 

The other books I bought were James Comey's "A Higher Loyalty", "Move Fast and Break Things" by somebody (similar in theme to the Bartlett book) and a reference-guide to Greek mythology. I had intended to buy two Joseph O'Neill books in the secondhand section. They had at least two copies of all his books last week, but I had taken a punt only on "Netherland" and when I went back today for the others they were gone. Will end up buying them full-price in Waterstones. For my morning reading, I am going to switch back to William Trevor. I heard a Gretchen Rubin podcast yesterday that suggested, if you want to reprise a discontinued activity, to recreate the conditions under which you engaged in this activity regularly and with enthusiasm. When I was writing a lot I

-lived in Dublin

-was reading a lot of William Trevor

-was seeing a lot of plays

-was going out all the time

-had no laptop and was writing/typing on the communal computers in Trinity.

Maybe I could try the last strategy when I have my student ID for UCC. By the time I get one though, I'll be in the school phase of my bimodal work schedule. I don't think an internet café would work in the same way. In fact, the computer labs in summer would be the perfect place to be writing. I will get on to this problem next week. Of course, an alternative would be to bring the laptop over to the college and find a place to work over there. I'd need to buy a decent case to carry the thing in. Now that's a shopping expedition I could engage in without feeling guilty. 

WTS Day XXIII

Will have to become more disciplined with this. It's twenty-five to eleven already and I have been up since half-seven. That is more than three hours to meditate, walk up to the shop, have breakfast, read ten minutes' worth of Joseph O'Neill's "Neverland", call the person I'm not supposed to be calling (call lasted ten minutes which is much shorter than normal) and turn on the computer. All that except the phone call could have been done in under an hour. I still have not exercised yet. That is supposed to slot in before reading time, but I have been excusing myself on the grounds of stiffness and saying I'll fit it in later but of course that doesn't happen. 

It is good to get up early these mornings as once the heat sets in it's impossible to get anything done. I have ordered Dorothea Brande's book from amazon, even though giving up amazon/bookdepository is supposed to be one of my goals. I am determined to do some actual writing today. Yesterday all I did was enter the Moth Prize, and send a story to The Stinging Fly. That's important too though. I end up entering the same competitions every year and missing the same competitions every year because the deadlines pass me by during the year. This is purely a case of failure to prioritise. 

My latest discovery is the Emma Guns Podcast. In particular her series on 26Habits. She has a lovely speaking voice and covers topics I am interested in. I have decided to start my own 26Habits series, to run concurrently with WTS (which is soon to run concurrently with Plastic-Free July). My first habit challenge is going to be staying out of all TKMaxx shops for two solid weeks. I am a TKMaxx whore and spend far too much time and money in there. Yes, it is often very good value and I have bought good things there like my winter coat that I wear all the time, but I have developed a checking habit. It is the vestiges of my evolutionary hunter-gatherer past. Here was a good shrub for berries. It's not 100% reliable but that only adds to the urge to check, unpredictable reward schedules being the key to reinforcing behaviour and all that. My most frequent purchases from there are beauty products, and I do not need Another Cleanser or Lovely Shower-gel. I say this partly because there was excellent value in the Heathrow Duty-Free and I held back thinking of all my stash I still have to get through and the bulk of the beauty fatberg is product purchased in TKMaxx. 

I have only one more big event to go in my Win the Summer schedule and that is a three-day writing course. The week before I have been invited to join my brother and his wife at her parents' holiday home. I am tempted but the last thing I want is to be spending hours on the beach or going on enforced marches (sorry, walks) on long, low-hedged country roads. If I could go and just hole up in my room. One way it would be good is that I could bring the laptop but there is, AFAIK, no wifi down there. Will see.