WTS Day XXXVI

You would think I was used to the heat by now but it is officially baking today. I didn't do any exercise today or yesterday. This is partly tomorrow logic as I am booked in for a gym class tomorrow. I know that gym classes aren't enough though, and I need to be doing some at home as well. That is a thing to watch. 

My first day of Habit No 2. is going well, as in it's actually going. I got up this morning and wrote at the laptop. Nothing too startling or anything. It's also twenty to five now and I already have my five o'clock writing done. I'm not sure if bringing it forward is a good idea or not, but couldn't think of an advantage of waiting until five o'clock. I'm working on an essay. I doubt this essay will ever be published but the best writing advice (have heard this from Kevin Barry and elsewhere from Neil Gaiman) is to be a finisher. To finish things and not leave scraps lying around the place. The computer makes this kind of thing even more dangerous. I would like to be writing fiction rather than essays, but feel not writing on the basis that I can't think of something fictional would be a case of letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. I read as well this morning that Joseph O'Neill gets an idea for a novel only once every ten years. This makes my one-short-story-a-year output seem less pathetic. 

In other news I am going out tonight, just to language-exchange, but that is something. I have become something of a hermit. But that is outside circumstances, to an extent. Things will pick up again. Have been doing a lot of reading and finally finished "The War that Ended Peace". I love reading, really reading. What do we mean when we say "reading for pleasure"? Why do we assume reading for pleasure means reading easy books, or frothy books that don't challenge us to think about issues? For me that is half the pleasure of reading. I hate the phrase "reading for pleasure", and I'm not the only one, although I know I'm in a minority. For most English teacher, this is heresy and unspeakable on forums like TESEO. 

If I had to sum up in one word my current status, I'd say it is "bored". Not that there is anything wrong with that. There are so many days. I wish we were going back early, the way some schools do, so as to get days off during the term. How welcome those days would be! I didn't vote, but think anyway there was little point in voting. In the words of Joseph Stalin: "It's not those who cast the votes who have the power, it's those who count the votes." 

WTS Day XXXV

Kicking myself this morning for not going out last night, but trying to remind myself of how tired I really did feel. This was, I think, from lack of planning and also from the unseasonably warm weather. There was no-one at the MeetUp that I wanted to see in particular. I didn't cancel, just didn't show up, which strikes me as mean-spirited and I resolve not to do so again, even if it is just drinks. 

It is #26habits day again today. My last habit was to stay out of TKMaxx. How did I do? I went there twice, once this day last week, and the second time yesterday. I bought one item: a foot cream. Once a week might seem plenty and not like I have succeeded, but what is important is that quite a few times I went into town or to the shopping centre and didn't go in there. This is the test, it had become an automatic thing that if I were in town for any reason I would "check" TKMaxx, in a hunter-gatherer kind of way. That is hopefully a thing of the past, and I will endeavour to keep out of there as much as possible for the rest of the summer. (What am I saying? It's quite possible for me never to darken their doors again. Better to say I will keep my visits to withing reasonable limits and not buy things of which I have several already). 

Time now for Habit No 2. I have toyed with a few over the past fortnight. A serious contender was to stay away from Youtube, but I am postponing this to the next time because I don't want this to be some kind of Lenten omnibus of giving up this and giving up that. I have decided that every second habit, at the least, will be adding an activity rather than taking it away. The frontrunner than became to develop an evening routine...a kind of bookend to Elrod's SAVERS. This I have come up with in the form of FLOAT. I did think first of JOLT. Journal-Organise-List-Tidy, but that sounded too much like a morning routine. The letters of FLOAT stand for 

-Five-minute journal.

-List

-Organise

-and

-Tidy

I am good at filling out the morning section of the FMJ, which I do as the A component of SAVERS, but lots of the pages are either blank at the bottom or have the headings but nothing filled in under them. I just forget, but making this part of a definite routine helps. The list is the right-hand side of my Moleskine diary, which functions as a bullet-journal to-do list (yes, I did try full-on bullet journaling and while I can see it is very clever, it just didn't work for me). In the evening I check off what I've done with an X through the box, and add in items that have arisen during the day so I have some kind of window into the future and this also minimises having to get out of bed because I've forgotten something. Then I organise anything I need for the morning/pack if I'm going anywhere. This isn't usually necessary this time of year, but will be a crucial step in September. Then T is for setting a ten-minute timer on my phone and tidying up, mostly in the kitchen. 

Life-enhancing as this routine is, it hasn't made the cut for this fortnight's habit because as soon I as conceived it, it's been extremely easy to stick to. Maybe when the enthusiasm wears off and I need a re-boot it could become one of the 26 habits at that stage. When it came to picking the habit, I decided to think about my priorities. Going out more is one of them. Another is writing, and this is where I finally settled. Drumroll....

Habit No. 2 of the #26habits is to use Dorothea Brande's two strategies to get more writing one. The first strategy is to write first thing in the morning. The second is to commit to another specific time of day to write. I plan to follow this five days a week. Five is enough, and I will pick the time five o'clock, or as close to five o'clock as I can manage. We will see how this will go. 

WTS DAY XXXIV

Am not really in the form for doing anything, but am writing this so as not to miss an X on the Seinfeld-inspired calender. I have been starved of social outings and right now I am supposed to be at a MeetUp, but I amn't, obviously. The bus into town passed me as I crossed the road to the shop to purchase a San Pellegrino before it closed at 8 o'clock and I did have a mad notion of hopping on it (I should have been on it really) but being in my Penney's jeans and old shirt, with my make-up untouched since one o'clock, I decided against it. I am a flake. 

I am an exhausted flake. It is so hot! It's gone beyond funny at the stage. Am having an Fe tablet along with the San Pellegrino, in case the problem is anaemia. I got up late and was going to spend the day at home but the boredom got to me and I went into town. Yes, I fell. No, I did not purchase anything style/beauty related. Instead I went to Vibes n Scribes and spent forty-two euro on books. I got four books for that, which is good. I have one almost finished already: Jamie Bartlett's "The People v Tech". It confirmed what I already know, and was almost enough for me to spontaneously delete my Facebook account. I have considered this in the past, not just because of their data-gathering and ad-targeting, but also because of the baby photos and the holiday photos and the whole nauseating #blessed #family smorgasbord of smug. It's long gone from my phone. It is impossible to cut the cord though. How would I know? How would I know that the man I was in a relationship with this time two years ago has gotten engaged? How would I know that my university-friend who is at least two years older than I am is pregnant with her first baby? How could I keep watch for evidence that the Man Who Went to the Far East has finally settled-down out there? [the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence]. On a practical level, I am in two professionally-linked private groups. Facebook is handy for that kind of thing. It would be possible, of course, to close my personal account and rejoin the professional groups using a new account. They would know it was me, but I could pick a name that would not be recognisable, and have no pictures. That would be a solution. That I'm not considering it means I am afraid. Facebook does seem  like a way to "keep in touch", but this is an illusion. 

The other books I bought were James Comey's "A Higher Loyalty", "Move Fast and Break Things" by somebody (similar in theme to the Bartlett book) and a reference-guide to Greek mythology. I had intended to buy two Joseph O'Neill books in the secondhand section. They had at least two copies of all his books last week, but I had taken a punt only on "Netherland" and when I went back today for the others they were gone. Will end up buying them full-price in Waterstones. For my morning reading, I am going to switch back to William Trevor. I heard a Gretchen Rubin podcast yesterday that suggested, if you want to reprise a discontinued activity, to recreate the conditions under which you engaged in this activity regularly and with enthusiasm. When I was writing a lot I

-lived in Dublin

-was reading a lot of William Trevor

-was seeing a lot of plays

-was going out all the time

-had no laptop and was writing/typing on the communal computers in Trinity.

Maybe I could try the last strategy when I have my student ID for UCC. By the time I get one though, I'll be in the school phase of my bimodal work schedule. I don't think an internet café would work in the same way. In fact, the computer labs in summer would be the perfect place to be writing. I will get on to this problem next week. Of course, an alternative would be to bring the laptop over to the college and find a place to work over there. I'd need to buy a decent case to carry the thing in. Now that's a shopping expedition I could engage in without feeling guilty. 

WTS Day XXXIII

I am sure these headings are breaking all the rules of blogging by being so undifferentiated. Now I am writing in this every day I could come up with sub-headings. 

Am just back from the gym: I don't use the machines because I hate them and can't stay on for longer than ten minutes but I have a membership that allows me two classes a week so I normally go to those. It is actually a clever way of structuring the membership. I can sign up for the class on the app, and if I cancel the day before, I have credit to book an alternative. However, if I cancel on the day or fail to show up, then I lose the credit and can go to maximum one class that week. This is handy and I go more now than when I joined first on a short-term unlimited pass. The unlimited pass meant that I could cancel a class on the day and just book one for the following day. This was too easy, and half the time I wouldn't bother going the day after either. This way, even if I'm tired after work and not in the form, I have to attend the class. It's today or never. 

I am all for classes as I find they are the exercise form that allows for the least motivation. An alternative would be exercise-through-commute but I couldn't really walk or cycle the thirty kilometres of mostly motorway without serious damage to my coiffure and possibly life. I sign up and turn up and after that it's just following instructions. This will sound bizarre but it is an actual treat to be a class member for a change instead of being the one at the top of the room, directing the action and taking responsibility for everyone keeping up. It has underscored the importance of lesson planning: there is little worse than the instructor trying to think of what to do next or looking for a track on their phone. Actually, the only thing worse is when they say "Okay guys, what do ye want to do next.....or.......?" and the loudest voices win. My choice almost never triumphs; I am on a very low percentile when it comes to general fitness. 

I had to call into work today and some-one asked me what I had on for the weekend. "Nothing this weekend", I answered and I am trying to feel proud of myself for my honesty and authenticity. It is the truth though. I have nothing on. I have texted an acquaintance and asked if there's anything on she would like to go to, but have heard nothing back. There is a MeetUp drinks I think I will attend if there is nothing else on. It is okay. There will be other weekends with lots on. This is life, now that I'm well into my forties, and I never wanted to be a middle-aged nighthawk with lots of eyeliner and a collection of bodycon dresses. That's not me. I am getting lots and lots of reading done, and a little writing and am organising my life in ways that'll keep paying off for months to come. 

Still it would be nice to have fun. Will try to persuade one of my married-with-kids friends that we need to go on a Night Out. That'd be fun. It is half-past five on Friday and a little late to be making weekend plans.

WTS Day XXXII

A very uneventful day today. I am turning into a hermit; there is a word, I have heard, for the opposite of hibernation. It is estivation. That is more or less what I am doing. I had agreed to mind my neighbour's dog so picked her up yesterday evening and this morning we went for a walk down by Blackrock Castle. We were there at half-seven and that is the time to be there. At times I could see no other human, but it was not so deserted as to feel unsafe. The tide was mostly in and the sun was out. It was lovely and I felt very privileged to live so close to the sea and to such an amenity. The sound of the cars heading towards the tunnel added rather than detracted from my enjoyment, as it brought the fact of my being on holidays into focus. 

I brought the dog with me to Mahon Point market, parking in the covered car-park. I always park there anyway: it wasn't just because I had the dog with me. Plastic-free July continues apace. I brought the plastic bag my strawberries came in last week and reused it. The punnet was the only new plastic I acquired: all my veg came loose or in brown paper. I bought pesto in jars and a take-away salad in a compostable container. Like I said before, it's easy to go plastic free in the summer when I can go to the market. This is excuse-making as there are other markets I could frequent that operate on Saturdays. 

The dog's owner collected her at lunch-time, and all I've done since is get my eyebrows threaded and buy Parmesan (wrapped in waxed paper) and a cotton shirt for work (12.95, bargain). Then I had to make a work-related phone-call (less than fifteen minutes). It wasn't for my main job, but for a tangential unpaid hustle. That hustle has been worth every minute of unpaid time I have spent on it. This is advice I would give to anyone: you have to give to get. Not so much as to make yourself an eejit, but you have to invest more than you would think for even modest returns. 

That was my day. It was fine, but I have nothing lined up to do at the weekend. That is worrying and I must investigate what is on and what I could go to. I went to the cinema on Monday on my own. Going to the cinema was on the "43 before 43 list" that I wrote at the New Year and I only got to it this week. But I got to it. I'm getting to lots of other things as well. Because this is how the summer works. It is not like a fortnight's holiday or a really long weekend. Things go very slack, and that is when possibilities emerge. 

WTS XXXI

So I opened a Twitter account yesterday and tweeted a link to this blog, but I have since deleted the tweet. I still have the account and may use it as an alternative account to my main one. I deleted the tweet because even though I wanted views on the blog, it's a case of being careful what you wish for. Quite a few of the views were from Ireland, and I did not like the thought that some of those people were people who know me IRL and there's me going on about my photophobia, my period knickers and my feelings about my family situation. 

Why put these things on the internet anyway? Ironically partly because I had read an article on Swedish Death Cleaning and I didn't like the idea of dying suddenly and having whoever cleans out my house reading through the paper diaries I have kept since the age of nine. I can't bring myself to destroy the old ones, but at least this is a way of reducing the amount of new ones. This may seem at odds with my announcement a few days ago that I would discuss the big development in my paper diary rather than on-line. But it's not the thought of some-one discovering my musings on the big events of life that bother me: it's the embarrassment of them reading my compulsive recording of trivia and my cringe-inducing enslavement to the self-improvement industry. 

Looking at previous entries yesterday in the knowledge that other people were seeing them (a good few got themselves reverted to drafts) resulted in self-accusations of narcissism. I suppose narcissism has two elements: one is inflated self-regard, and the second is obsession with the self as opposed to more healthy engagement with the outside world. The two go together in some respects. There is definite evidence of the second, but what about the first? I think it's there to some degree. It's the belief in the possibility of Great Things, that I would be living a fabulous life were it not for the fuck-ups of myself and others. That I am only living this particular life as a result of a series of unfortunate events. And from that comes a sadness and an anger and lots of resentment. 

There is a contradiction in feeling a failure at being extraordinary and simultaneously a failure at being ordinary. Why couldn't I manage the simplest, most normal thing of all for a woman and have a child? Why has no-one ever wanted to marry me and for us to have a family together? Why am I so ridiculously sensitive? 

There are no self-help books on how to recover from narcissism, which is pity because it's probably the one trait that most negatively affects the consumers of self-help advice. The phrase "self-help" itself carries connotations of narcissism. A quick search on Amazon reveals lots of material on dealing with the narcissist in your life (a case of the mote and the beam?) but not a single one on how to become less narcissistic. Maybe such a book would be an oxymoron. Or maybe I've just discovered a gap in the market.......

WTS Day XXX

Win the Summer is 30 days old today and to celebrate, we are opening a Twitter account and attempting to get some views.
I realise now that I should have started a whole new blog for Win the Summer. I didn't think I'd really write every day. Well, I didn't. If you're reading this and you recognise me, can you please inform me? I have been writing this blog in the supposition of anonymity, as there is little point otherwise. I am careful, but only up to a point.
What is Win the Summer?
Win the Summer is a personal project. I am a teacher who is off work for the holidays and realises that she did not make the most of previous summers. I am determined that this summer will be different. The main difference is that I am going about things intentionally, rather than drifting. Another difference is that I am following, as best I can, Hal Elrod's "Miracle Morning" routine. Had I picked up this book in my local Waterstone's (it's there), I would have dismissed it as just another self-help book that promised the world but is hard to stick to and ephemeral in its benefits. However, I downloaded it onto my Kindle Fire having heard it recommended on Twitter by people I hold to be sensible. The book itself is quite skimmable and there's a good summary of it here by Philosophers Notes. (Brian Johnson does good summaries and his blackboard presentations are much easier to take in than the usual animated book summaries that proliferate on YouTube).
So far, I can recommend it, as it works very well for some-one who is temporarily without much structure and who doesn't have to be in a particular place in the mornings. Would I recommend sacrificing sleep and getting up at half-five to do it? Totally not. I plan, when I go back to work, to get up a little earlier and incorporate elements like five-minutes meditation in my morning, but that's about it. Not that I am planning too much for work at this point. The summer is still young.
That is, relatively young. There are around seven weeks left of my mini-sabbatical. A mini-sabbatical is how I see it. For ten years I did not take this break, but instead earned extra income by correcting exams. What a mistake that was, but I can't go back now and change things.
Along with the Miracle Morning (can I stop capitalising that?), I have a couple of other projects on the go. Right now, I am attempting Less Plastic July. I have also started a #26habits ....what? "Practice" sounds absurd, but maybe that's the closest. This is inspired by Emma Gunavardhana's excellent podcast on the-pool.  I am still on the first one...Staying out of TKMaxx, and am due to start another one next Monday.
The other main thing, in fact the main thing, is that I am taking time this summer To Do Some Serious Writing. I know I am building this up to be too big a thing. How is this going? On the one hand I am writing every day. On the other, this is on various desultory, embryonic scraps of wittering rather than anything substantial or even fictional. And I am not spending enough time on it. Still, I must not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I am doing a bit. There is progress. Still, progress doesn't get you there, just on to the next section of road that's indistinguishable from the other. To put this in perspective, I style myself as a fiction writer, but my current output averages out at one short story a year. In seven years' time ( I currently have three I consider presentable) I'll have enough for an anthology.
I feel there is more I could be doing. This feeling is in itself a sign of progress. How have I lost other summers? Through half-heartedness and not pushing through. Through not taking up opportunities, through going to events but not speaking to people and going home early, through failing to prioritise, through attempting to live some-one else's life and doing things merely because they were expected of me.
This year is different. Even so far, it is different.

WTS Day XXIX

Have fallen off all the bandwagons I am on. I went to TKMaxx yesterday and bought a product there. I had nothing on all day and was having an at-home day, tidying my house while listening to this podcast of Emma Guns interviewing Gretchen Rubin, reading "The War that Ended Peace" by Margaret Macmillan, doing yet another load of washing, cooking super-healthy baba ganoush for lunch. No sooner was the aubergine gone into the oven to roast did I remember that I had eaten the second half of the cashew nut butter that was in the press. I went to Marks and Spencers to buy more. My local M&S is a shopping centre where there is a small TKMaxx. I felt conflicted: 

A. I made a decision to stay out of there for at least two weeks. I've done a whole week. It's a matter of honour and self-discipline. I'll feel better if stick to my guns. On a superstitious level, life has been good to me lately and maybe there's a link to my embracing various forms of routine and resolutions. 

B. No-one would know and no objective harm would be done. It was only the little TKMaxx, not the main one. I was having a very unexciting day and five minutes wouldn't hurt. 

Reader, I caved. I almost bought a new workout top and then I actually did buy a Bliss Foot Patrol, even though I have two unopened ones here at home. For ages and ages they had none of these so I snapped two up the last time they had them, even though I have yet to finish the first one I bought. It's a really lovely, acidic, minty foot-cream that is heavenly used straight from the fridge on a hot day and the discount on Bliss is always decent. It was 8.99, not the end of the world, but it was ultimately close to a tenner on something I don't need. Plus, I had picked at the forming scab that was healing my shopping habit. 

That morning I had thought about going into town to write in the café that's under the TKMaxx in town, but I didn't go in, partly because I felt if I went in I'd end up dragging around the shops and frittering away money. This isn't just about the money. It's the time. It's the meaninglessness of it. So I didn't go. This was the right decision. There's being a flaneuse, and then there's being a sad creature who mopes around the shops without purpose or direction. 

The other bandwagon I fell off was the one I climbed on only yesterday. Having left a notebook and a biro next to my bed, I woke up and as per usual went straight to Twitter and continued the very debate that had delayed my going to sleep last night. I did remember and wrote a little, but by then it was too late. I think I'll stick a post-it on my phone tonight, or put Freedom on for longer. 

That's it. Will just have to pick myself up and keep going. Disgusted at my lapse yesterday and more committed than ever now to abstinence. 

WTS Day XXVIII

Slept in a bit late this morning. Tomorrow will start on the Dorothea Brande schedule, such as it is. Today is the first day of July, so therefor the first day of Plastic-Free July. I won't be going Plastic Free, but am going to take the following actions:

-use my Thinx and purchase more of them.

-I already use bar soap rather than liquid hand soap, but will extend this to showering as well. I thought about switching to solid shampoo but this is hard water area. That is my excuse anyway. Although I suppose an experiment would do no harm. 

-I already use real butter rather than the gunk in the plastic tubs. This is a good example of how eco-switches almost always result in a better-quality experience. 

-cooking my own food and eschewing ready-meals in plastic containers.

-buying cheese in Iago's, where they wrap it in waxed paper. 

-bringing bags to the market to buy vegetables. Seeing if I can find a string bag. 

-eating more things like eggs, that are minimally packaged.

-not buying soft drinks multi-packs that are covered in plastic. This will incur a cost as it is cheaper to buy the multi-packs with the plastic. At least Diet Coke can now be bought in 24-pack cardboard boxes. 

-switching to powder for biological detergent.

-at some point during the month refilling my non-biological detergent bottles. I really need to do this only once a year and think I still have plenty of last year's to go. 

-giving up single-use small water bottles. I know giving up bottled water is the low-hanging fruit of using less plastic, but I got a letter from Irish Water telling me there is lead in the tap water. Things I can do include buying bigger bottles of water and using the filter in the gym. Of course, I could buy a filter. Or not take any notice of Irish Water and their scare-mongering. 

-stop buying synthetic clothes. 

-go to the Quay Co-op and see if there's anything there that could help.

-switch to non-plastic cotton buds. I don't use a whole load of these anyway, but sometimes nothing else will do to fix wonky eye-make-up. 

-bringing reusable containers to the fish counter. 

None of this is too hard during the summer,  when I have time to shop in the market and the inclination to cook. I have no excuses really during the winter either. Of course, not having a baby represents the greatest plastic-saving of all. Other people are using my quota of course. And it wouldn't stop me. It'd be better to have a baby and donate to organisations tackling over-population. I do think over-population is a thing. I think people who decide not to have children for this reason are being responsible, on the condition that it's a unanimous decision between a couple. I doubt it is. I mean, I think it's unreasonable to expect your partner of whichever sex to deny themselves offspring and parenthood for no other reason than altruistic environmentalism. 

All really posh people are environmentally-friendly because there are rewards from that way of living. What about flying? I have to laugh at the zero-wasters on Youtube who are flying here and there and packing their bamboo toothbrushes in their carry-on. LOL. 

WTS Day XXVII

I hope I'm still doing the Roman numerals correctly. Last night I made a list of my top nine self-help books. I had intended to go for ten but couldn't think of a tenth. I'd say I will, and then post I was surprised that's as far as I could go. I think it was partly because I allowed only one book per author. 

My copy of Dorothea Brande's "Becoming a Writer" came yesterday. Tomorrow I will start the writing as soon as I wake up. I did do one exercise and was very pleased with what came out of it. I think I will do it again. 

So far, her programme involves two parts:

1. Writing on waking. This conflicts with "The Miracle Morning". I see however, that there a "Miracle Morning for Writers" book, that I could consult. On the other hand, if I stick to writing in a bedside notebook, then there is no reason why I couldn't slot this in before Silence. 

2. Writing by appointment. As well as first thing in the morning, Brande recommends a definite time to write. I have been sticking to my twenty-minute a day minmum, but suspect this would also be a good idea. When though? The morning is the obvious time. We will say 9 am, from Monday, and start with 20 minutes, increasing every week by five minutes. This will allow for finishing the miracle morning. 

Shouldn't I prioritise writing over the miracle morning? I mean I could be doing real writing right now instead of this this typing. I don't know. I think of this as a kind of mental house-keeping. Perhaps the five-minute journal would suffice. I have started in a different notebook as my yellow still has not arrived from the hotel and I suspect it won't at this stage. 

This weekend is tough as there is nothing on. There was a lot I could have done last weekend but I was away at the Christening, or recovering on the Sunday. This is how things happen. You pick yourself up and you move on. I could have signed up to a Meetup or something. There is always something, and if there isn't you can arrange something or just go off into the country somewhere. 

I am going to go into town once this is written. I have a couple of things to pick up. Just a couple, mind you. Staying our of You Know Where. There is very little I need food-wise (onions, bread). There is a hair-care product I want to buy in Boots (Bumble and Bumble stuff that means you don't have to blow-dry your hair, will buy the travel size to experiment).

I am thinking about going back to ordering books. There is a book I want and it is much cheaper on the bookdepository. If I didn't know the book depository are owned by Amazon then I would have bought it there already. It is more expensive to order books in a bookshop, and compared to Amazon they take longer to come. They're more predictable than bookdepository though. 

My scruples were there already but have been strengthened by reading this review from Quillette. It'd be wrong altogether to order "The War on Normal People" online wouldn't it? It echoes what I've thought for a while: our obsession with e-commerce and automation is a form of economic cannibalism. I already rarely use the self-service checkouts in the supermarket and deplore their introduction to our libraries. I say "rarely" but I do use them. 

WTS Day XXVI

One aspect of WTS I am struggling with is avoiding the sun. I came back from holidays determined to really avoid it this week, yet every day I have been out in it. Monday I went shopping, Tuesday I can't remember but there was something, Wednesday I walked over to some-one's house for lunch, yesterday I went out in the garden with my nephew. This is all less exposure than if I didn't think about it, but is still probably more than the average office-worker gets. I must become more disciplined where this is concerned. UV rays are at an all-time, crazy high. It was 29 degrees yesterday and set to go over 30 today. I feel guilty now about my four flights, with two more coming up in September. I know lots of people don't worry about flights, thinking the key to tackling global warming lies with governments. That is true, but in the age of Trump, we must all do what we can do. 

My own life is not eco-friendly in the slightest. I live alone, in a house I could have done more to insulate. I don't have solar panels, even though I love the idea of them.It is true that I retro-fitted an old house rather than building a new one. That is something. And it is much more energy-efficient than when I bought it. If back again I would insulate under the floor-boards and put in triple-glazed windows. I drive to work, in a B rated, diesel car. I am also guilty that I could have car-pooled twice as much as I did last year, but never got around to changing my supervision. It is quite probable that car-pooling will be out of the question next year and it definitely will the year after. But who knows after that. I could take the bus into town a lot more. Not that my driving into town is a huge source of CO2: it's only around a mile and a half. Maybe two miles. 

On the other hand I'm mostly vegetarian. I don't take a whole load of flights. I buy bar soap and butter not in tubs. I am delighted with Thinx: they are practical and have led to a real reduction in the amount of sanpro I am discarding. That is one small win. 

How is the Miracle Morning going? 

Silence: very well, doing this every morning, even when away.

Affirmations: was going well. My notebook still hasn't arrived and I think I'm going to have to start a new one. 

Visualisation: not doing this one. 

Exercise: a bit sporadic. Back in the gym again two days a week and most of the others doing a quick abs routine. Doing these in the morning does help, and sometimes I get into the shower amazed at how many things I've ticked off so early in the day. This actually saves on the willpower needed, while simultaneously fostering good habits and discipline. 

Reading: like silence, this is going really well. Every morning at home I set the alarm and read fiction for ten minutes. I don't bother with this while away because I'm good to read on trains and planes anyway. 

Scribing: This is what I have chosen to do for scribing. I am doing it every morning that I'm at home. When away I keep my paper diary. I wrote in the paper diary yesterday as well because I was afraid to discuss the big development here.

It is all a bit nuts, but it is helping. Helping what is the question. This sounds very self-helpy, but it's helping me live more intentionally and focus my attention. This in turn is making me less emotionally labile and better able to detach a bit from what certain other people think about me.