Saturday, 21 July 2018


How time marches on. Had a good day today by way of having a Diet Coke with a hopefully new friend. I feel I am being optimistic using this word for this woman, but maybe I could do with being more optimistic. I felt incredibly tired yesterday and lay for a long time in bed feeling what seemed like a physical, heavy forcefield holding me down and almost immobile. 
Then today as well I felt so drained and had to lie down in the early afternoon. I got up and while I was waiting for the woman to arrive I thought I might be too weak to talk. But it was fine, I forgot myself and sometimes when I am coming up from a low I feel more able to talk. 
I still worried that my conversation was too whiny and negative, especially when the topic of work came up. I find it easy to slide into complaining once I start, although I am careful usually to speak well of my workplace. It is good to be honest and she admitted she finds her own work boring. My work is rarely boring but it has its own challenges. 
So much of the tiredness must be physical in nature and there is a vicious circle that starts when I am too tired to shop for food. It is shopping that is the challenge more than cooking as once the stuff is in then the cooking part in minimal. That said, I sometimes don't even cook the food and let it rot while I have toast and wine for tea. That rarely happens. It is time for another #26habits tomorrow. The plan was to do every second one giving things up/taking things up. That would mean Habit No 3 being a giving-up habit and I was considering YouTube. We all love YouTube but it is a serious time-slayer. it's the snippetisation factor. That's why Instagram was one of the first apps I deleted from my phone...the very smallness of the items is what leads to the difficulty in stopping. What's five minutes? And another five? And three more? And ten more? 
So I am a bit torn between the giving up Youtube and coming up with a food-related habit. I don't have many food-related vices (Diet Coke is not up for discussion at this stage), but equally I lack food virtue. Eating five-a-day would be a good habit, as would taking my supplements. Has the concept of "five-a-day"been debunked though? Not just on charges of insufficiency but also because that's not how we think about food. We don't think in terms of daily allowances. We think in terms of meals. I feel a habit needs to be specific though. I could look through my cookery books and cook something new but is cooking something from a book every day too high of a bar? What if I just bought a whole load of vegetables and ate those? I will be thinking and come up with something tomorrow. 

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