I think this is Day 56. I have somewhat lost track, and ultimately it doesn't matter. What do I want to say today? I don't know. I was thinking about the project and how the goals are too loosely defined. What does Winning the Summer mean? How will I know if I have won? In the end, I don't know what winning looks like, how do I know I'm not losing. Sometimes it feels like I'm losing, but how can I tell if I can't tell what winning is.
I think it is better to be a bit vague and realise this isn't a pass/fail assignment. It's not like a five-person Olympic final, more like a huge fun-run where all I want to do is beat my pb by the largest margin possible.
Things I can do:
-enjoy myself and fill up the tanks before the long first term.
-get better at writing, both through courses and through lots of practice
-learn lots of things, mostly through reading
-meet people and make personal connections
-be a force for good in the world.
This last one seems so cheesy but all the others are very "I want, I want, I want". I have been reading Barry Michels and Phil Stutz's excellent "The Tools" and its follow-up "Coming Alive" and this an insight from their work. I can see how I have been focused on getting other people to do things for me....let me back on the radio station, give me a HL LC English class, accept my story for publication, give me a prize, give me some space and more autonomy, be the father of my children, keep me company so I feel less lonely and less of a sad loser. I have learned to be wary of pop-psychology and quick fixes but I am liking the books. That's a small token I have picked-up in the video game that is the summer holidays.